Hope this new look is acceptable to Honeybuns….
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Last night before going to bed, Jin and I were having a conversation and Jin told me he had an epiphany: God loves Isaiah more than we do. Jin’s totally right. We love Isaiah so much that we can’t even describe it. But God probably loves Isaiah much much more than we do…to a degree that we cannot imagine. It’s amazing to know that. Just then I realized something: God loves us as much as He loves Isaiah. It was mind blowing. Having a child is helping me understand God’s love in an more concrete way. For the first time today, I took Isaiah into our bed when we woke up at 6:15pm this morning. It’s Saturday, so I was hoping that this way we could all sleep in. Usually when Isaiah wakes up in the morning anywhere between 5:30 and 7, I nurse him and change his diaper. Then we go out to the living for a play until daddy is ready for breakfast. Isaiah never goes back to sleep, no matter what time he wakes up. But for some reason today, I took him into our bed after nursing him without changing his diaper. He was a bit fussy and very squiggly. But I held him, pat his back and bottom trying to encourage him to go back to sleep. I wasn’t really expecting much and didn’t have much hope, but then I noticed that he was indeed falling asleep! And for the first time in many many months — probably since he was just a few months old — I saw him smile in his sleep. How precious this child and how warm the feeling! I did manage to put him down by my side with his head resting on my arm. That’s when I had an epiphany. I remembered the days all too well when I had him sleep by my side with his head resting on my arm. He was only a month or two old back then. My arm would always fall asleep. Although I wouldn’t be able to sleep well, waking up at his every move, he would be sleeping so well. Gosh, I guess I might be doing this all too often again when we have another baby in the future. Perhaps I’ll enjoy it more than I did back then, knowing how quickly they grow up. Isaiah was suddenly sick Tuesday morning with a fever after throwing up in the middle of the night. I text messaged a few people from church to pray for him. Although his fever was running up to 38.1 degrees Celsius, he didn’t have any other symptoms such as coughing or a runny nose. His fever wouldn’t go down by that evening so I decided to take him to the hospital to get tested for the H1N1 virus. My mom just happened to be near our house when I started packing up at around 9pm so she came with us to a large university hospital. I’m so thankful that God had just sent her at that moment because Jin was still at work. When we found out that the wait was 3 hours, we decided to go to another hospital where we waited for about an hour. The doctor said that it’ll be unlikely for him to have the swine flu since he’s not showing any other symptoms. But he also said that since he’s in the high risk group, he’ll test for the virus. He also advised that if Isaiah continues to have the fever the next day, I should take him to a doctor’s office nearby and get tamiflu prescribed. We got home past midnight and I was pretty exhausted. Isaiah continued to have a fever the next day, but it suddenly disappeared after his morning nap! It’s been 4 days since the fever subsided and he’s been perfectly well ever since (except for being super clingy). What’s funny is that yesterday I got a message from the hospital saying that his test results came out positive, which means he has the swine flu. It’s funny because he’s been well since Wednesday afternoon with no other symptoms. I would like to think that this is a miracle of God and a manifestation of the power of prayer.What else can it be? Praise be to God, the creator of the universe! I can’t believe our little munchkin is already 14 months old today! I feel like he’s growing up so fast. Although he still falls down, he’s very comfortable walking. He’ll get right back up after a fall and loves walking around outside, too. When we walk to our favorite park area about 15 min away, he’ll walk almost all the way back home. He likes to step on the leaves that are on the ground, be mesmerized by the pigeons pecking nearby, wave at the ducks in the creek, point at the airplanes flying by, comment on the birds that are flying in flocks, push his own stroller when he gets a bit tired, squats down when he gets really tired, hold onto my legs when really really tired but will almost never ask me to pick him up. He’s such a trooper! He’s so interested in the world around him and especially enjoys looking at animals. Even at home, he’ll ask me to read books with animals in them and loves to point at the bears, bunnies, birds, dogs, and butterflies in the books. I should take him to a zoo one of these days. When asked what ducks say he responds, “kack, kack”, dogs “bahk, bahk”, cows “mooo”, and sheep “baba”. He points at the red and yellow balls and says “baah”. He can kiss and hug his teddy bear on command and even give him a gentle pat. He can point at the apple, flower, zebra, sheep, frog and monkey on his playmat. (We’re working on lion now.) He’s an expert giver of high-fives and kisses on the cheek (although it’s more like slobbering spit all over). He folds his hands together before meals when we say “let’s pray” or even better, is ready with his hands folded when he’s super hungry. My favorite is when he folds his hands in the middle of our bedtime reading routine because he wants to hurry up and nurse. Oh, how I love being Isaiah’s mom! And his smiles and giggles are just priceless. I’m so thankful to God that He’s given us such a precious and wonderful child who never ceases to amaze and amuse me. It was only few weeks ago when Isaiah could walk about 2 or 3 steps. Now, he can cruise from our bedroom to the living room! You add his walker to that equation and he’s practically running! It’s interesting to see how Isaiah’s development happens in spurts. On Sunday, Isaiah was “walking” around in the coffee shop that we always hangout on Sunday. Yuna captured everything in one sentence: “Your days of following Isaiah has begun.” It sho has~:P If it wasn’t for my good friend Sarah, I would have forgotten that I was turning 30 this year. For reals. My birthday happened to land on the day before Chuseok this year, which meant that I had to work all day at my in-laws. We got there at 9am and got home at 9pm. I was mostly helping my MIL making food until late afternoon when all the men went out to meet friends/get a hair cut/meet the boss. So then I was watching Isaiah while my SIL was doing most of the work with my MIL. My in-laws were nice enough to get me a cake to celebrate after dinner. Jin had already gotten me a cake the night before (It was an icecream cake, too!) and we celebrated on our own, so I wouldn’t have minded if they didn’t get me a cake. I might have preferred to come home earlier instead. =) Yesteday, the actual Chuseok day, we went back to Jin’s parents’ place a little before 7am for the Korean style memorial service for Jin’s grandfather. Then we headed to Jin’s uncle’s place for another service. For dinner, we visited my parents. Today after church, we went to another one of Jin’s uncle’s to have lunch and spend time with his maternal grandparents and family. But Chuseok’s not over yet. Tomorrow morning, we’re going to Jin’s ancestor’s gravesite in Kyungjoo which is 3 hours away. Hopefully there won’t be traffic and we’ll get back soon so Jin can rest in the evening before going to work the next day. Isaiah isn’t dealing well with the full-blown Korean Chuseok schedule. He hasn’t been able to rest well since he’s been taken around all these places and we end up coming home late. He’s been going to bed much later than usual and not been able to get good naps, which seems to be affecting the quality of sleep he gets. He was up in the middle of the night last night and demanded for breastmilk which he hasn’t done in 3 months! He was crying so hard and I was too tired to fight with him so I ended up nursing him. Hopefully he won’t do that tonight. I now remember how tiring Korean holidays are…especially as a daughter-in-law. Thank God for the extra dose of strength he’s given me during this Chuseok. I didn’t know being a grandparent was such a joyful thing. They can’t seem to pour enough love to Isaiah! Not only do they wish to see him everyday, but they get him diapers, clothes, food and more. I asked my mom if she could take me to a department store today to get a birthday gift for our pastor’s girl who’s turning one tomorrow. She gladly came and we went shopping. As I was picking out a nice outfit for Sharon to wear for the changing season, my mom couldn’t resist getting stuff for Isaiah! Not only did she get multiple sets of clothes for him but also a pair of shoes. She also wanted to get some socks but they didn’t have his size. After dropping us off at home, she went to the market to get diapers for him. She must have made a mental note that we were running out. Jin’s mom, on the other hand, brought peaches and apples for Isaiah in the evening, along with his pre-altered Hanbok to wear at his first birthday party. She wanted to make sure it fit him okay before actually sewing it. What a dedication! I realize how precious Isaiah is in his grandparents’ eyes. How much more is he in God’s! Isaiah stands on his own more often these days. Although the duration in which he’s standing without touching anything is still very short (max 5 sec., which happened today), the frequency has increased. But the problem is that he doesn’t realize that he’s doing this! It’s sort of like when he stood by himself trying to take the hat off with one hand while holding onto the cellphone on the other. He’ll be yelling at something out of pure excitement and hold both of his hands up. Yes, he stood, but I doubt he knew what he was doing. These days I’ve been wondering if I should think about moving to a different church. Currently, Jin and I are serving in the English youth ministry at Sarang Church (STEM). That’s where we were before moving to the States. However, I feel that I’ve been hardly serving since I’m taking care of Isaiah most of the time — before, during and after worship. There isn’t much I can do because of this (certainly can’t teach!) and I definitely don’t feel plugged in to the ministry. As we were re-joining the ministry, I was hoping that I’ll be able to grow spiritually and be kept accountable, but that doesn’t seem to be happening at all. I feel a strong need to be able to connect with other christian mom’s, but STEM is unable to provide that either since I’m the only other mom besides the pastor’s wife. Because Jin’s sick, we missed church this Sunday but no one’s called or texted to ask if he’s okay, except for the pastor. It’s been way too long since I’ve been stagnant in my walk with God and I am in serious need of a group of people to study the Bible with, pray together regularly, and keep me accountable during the week. The married couples group at NHM doesn’t really work out for us since they meet on Sundays at 4pm. Isaiah can’t really handle weekly all-day-out’s and we often meet up with our non-christian parents for dinner on Sundays. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to find accountability and a Bible study group in STEM that’s accommodating to having an infant. Better pray more about this… |
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